How to Exit a Personal Roundabout: 3 Ways to Move Beyond Barriers

Thanks for the Inspiration, Clark Griswald

We recently spent a late night watching “Vacation” movies. You know- National Lampoon’s. Chevy Chase. That catchy “Holiday Road” theme song.

It was spur-of-the-moment when my husband made a reference to Cousin Eddie and I was the only one who laughed. We realized we’d somehow failed to introduce the absurd disasters of the Griswald family to our kids. So, we made popcorn and all sprawled out in the living room.

Getting ready for bed that night, I kept chuckling. Roundabouts. That ridiculous scene in European Vacation where the whole family is in England, squeezed in a shoddy yellow car. Clark awkwardly drives around and around but can’t manage to exit the busy roundabout. Loads of other shoddy cars zoom by, honking at him. Double-decker buses crowd him in.  Day turns to night. Traffic fades. He finally exists, having spent the whole day going in circles and missing out on the plans they’d made.

My Unexpected Shift

A week later, on a busy Monday morning, this absurd scene nudged me to make a personal change.

 I was in our basement office organizing a very long To-Do list.

At the bottom- write.

*CRINGE*

(guilt, shame, regret)

The one that always made the list but rarely got a crisp line scratched through it.

Because I’d love to, BUT…

-File crop insurance forms
-Set up new accounts
-Book flights for tournament weekend  

I looked over the To-Do list again, grouping and prioritizing.

 I’ll get these done first. Then maybe I’ll have time to work on that article this afternoon.

It was my usual strategy.  

But when I walked to the file cabinet, a subtle thought came- Just exit the roundabout.

I ignored it and opened the drawer.

It persisted. This time deeper- Just. Exit. The. Round-A-Bout.

I knew that tone, knew to pay attention, and knew I was in for a divine reality-check.

Watching the Griswalds drive around is hilarious. Also maddening- there’s an urge to grab the darn steering wheel from Clark, dart over to the outer lane, and dash toward the first exit. 

Yet, there I was in my very own roundabout. Circling around in old habits of thought and behavior.  Not so funny when you’re the one driving. Not so easy to steer another direction.

Writing wasn’t a task that demanded completion. No deadlines, nobody counting on me. Not even certainty that some worthwhile outcome would justify time spent on it.  

Sound familiar? Anything you’ve been wanting to begin, change or finish that keeps taking the backseat?

Well, I’m sitting here, writing. Which means, I managed to veer on to a new road. 

How’d I do it?

More importantly, how can you do it?

1.Shine a Light on the Problem

I acknowledged I was going in circles with the same ‘ol excuses- “Too busy with more pressing duties” and “What’s the point- I’m my only reader”. Just admitting the ruse took power away from it. It also added a layer of accountability- I knew I could do better.

There was something I really wanted that I wasn’t taking action on. It wasn’t the long To-Do lists or self-doubts themselves that kept me from moving forward. It was my choice to stay stuck in them.

When we highlight the root of the problem with honesty, we move past vulnerability. No more blinders. No more excuses lunging at us from the shadows. It’s out in the open for us to face- good, bad, and ugly.

Now we’re on the offense, taking charge. That sense of empowerment fuels change.

 2. Work within the current boundaries

I stopped waiting for conditions to be perfect. Would I love some solitude in a cozy mountain cabin with my laptop, snowfall and the best French-pressed coffee? Umm, yes.

But I have a lively household to run. Five kids whose ambitions keep me on my toes, a husband who works long hours, a vineyard, animals... And a genuine passion for managing it all with joy and a lot of humor.

The busy-ness ain’t going away. (I wouldn’t want it to, anyway.) So, I decided to make the best of it.

Instead of dwelling on constraints, aim for opportunities. What adjustments can be made within the margins of current circumstance? For me, it was headphones and a playlist of nature sounds to block out distractions, a specific block of time at home to write, and an encouraging podcast to listen to while I drove the kids around.

One or two adjustments can open the door to a little progress…

Which builds momentum, which leads to more progress.

3. Take small steps

I chose simple steps. No gigantic leaps. No overwhelming, complex success-plan. I knew I wasn’t going to neglect family duties.

So, I stuck with short projects that felt do-able and were easy to finish. Keyword: finish.

“Just take baby steps”- we’ve heard it a thousand times.  When leaps aren’t possible, baby steps work. The key is to keep having moments of little accomplishments.  When we experience motion in the right direction, we’re inspired to keep going.

The result? New habits forming and an openness to bigger undertakings.

Steering the Wheel is Exhilarating

When you move yourself in the direction of your desires, you feel like a young driver who ventures out for the first time by herself. It’s exhilarating, even if she’s just driving across her small town to grab a burger with friends.

The more she drives, the more confident she becomes. In time, she’ll be ready for longer distances and more challenging roads, even roundabouts. And that’s when the real adventure really begins- when you finally exit the old roundabout.